CARTOON ACTION HOUR: The (Not Really) Drinking Game

by Justin Mohareb

In frat homes, college residences, and graduate dorms across the world, some traditions are inviolate. Many of them involve beer. One of the great challenges of these leaders of tomorrow is the Saturday morning drinking game. A group of daring contenders will gather together, alcohol at the ready, and chug at pre-arranged signals. Now, the cartoon is your Cartoon Action Hour game! The characters are your characters! And the livers of a nation await your command!

But it's Wrong to Drink and Game!

Don't worry, old chum. This is a meta-game. No one is really drinking except for a bunch of fictional college kids watching your fictional cartoon and drinking fictional beer. You won't be getting drunk, but by your actions, you'll help some eager post-pubescent out there to achieve a level of higher consciousness.

Steps of Play: Previous to the game, each player will choose for the player on their left a signature phrase or action. Try to have fun doing so, and make sure it's something appropriate both for the character and for your show. A very subtle innuendo is fine for a Saturday morning show, but open vulgarity is something more appropriate for a cable cartoon. A gunslinger can spin their pistols, while a gruff Master Sergeant can chew on a cigar.

The Game Master will also assign a list of clichés for the show. This can include cartoon staples like "end of show chuckle" "shouts a team rallying cry" or "a character is doing monitor duty/on patrol". The Game Master may also secretly assign Chug a Beer items, which are worth 5 beer points. These would be something that would only happen if a character acts fairly out of character, or a surprising and unlikely twist occurs because of the players actions.

During play, the GM will award Beer Points to players who fulfill one of the drinking points. Players who achieve a Chug A Beer goal gain 5 beer points. At the end of the episode, the player with the most beer points has gotten their meta-drinker the drunkest, and is the winner. Their reward may be an extra XP or slice of pizza.

The goal of this rules addition is not to ruin a game. A player who does strange actions strictly to try to get beer points should be penalized or gently disciplined.

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